By Maria Sledmere
Romance scams always make me cry
my front teeth chipped from the cinnamon cookie
I can cry even more than babies can
I answer all my spams with beautiful missives that mourn
the impossibility of succulent & promised fortunes, dearest
I would like to disclose something important
a smashing welcome bonus, a sex trip with someone who weighs eight stone
but these people think my name really is Strawberry Bonfire, sometimes just Berry
from the Kingdom of Hotmail, socially engineered by the extra cash prize
of showing up to the noughties
through rivers of kohl, glitterbombed and milky
to fall in your booming arms
call me fungible
MARIA SLEDMERE is a lecturer in Creative Writing based in Glasgow. She has long been serenaded in pop songs and musicals.
Art by Izzy Fergusson
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